Our Little Ham

Quite the Quandary

ourlittleham — Sat, 22 May 2010 17:04:27 +0000

It’s been part of our routine most mornings for nearly the past year and a half. After getting up, getting dressed, and eating breakfast, we’d head on out to the gym. It took a few visits to thoroughly convince Eva that she’d like the Kids Club at the old gym, but eventually she really loved the place. The girls that worked there were great with the kids, and I know that she enjoyed her time there with them.

Then that gym closed and we’re dealing with temporary accommodations at a different gym. At first Eva seemed to be completely fine with it, but 6 months later, the situation has deteriorated. Every morning on our way there we talk about what’s going to happen- she’s going to go and play in the Kids Club for a little while and I’m going to exercise in the next room. I will come back for her as soon as I’m done working out, and we’ll go home. She says she understands and she’s ok with it……and then when it’s time to drop her off, she gets a death grip on me. Screaming and crying are also involved. One of the girls who seems to be very good with Eva always comes over and pries her off of me and calms her down so that I can go and join my class.

Yesterday morning started out with all the trappings…..and had a very different ending than I had anticipated. As I ran on the elliptical after my class I saw one of the Kids Club workers wandering around, obviously looking for a parent. I was wearing the loudest pink tank top you can imagine and in plain view, but apparently it was as good as camouflage. When I made my way back to pick Eva up a few minutes later, I was informed that there had been an incident. I won’t go into details about it, but suffice it to say that it involved a diaper situation and her being quarantined in a bathroom by herself (with the door open), amongst other things. There was reason to believe that Eva had been “uncomfortable” for quite a while. I was also yelled because they couldn’t find me. I guess I was hiding in plain view?

I was mortified, but I feel even worse for Eva. I have no idea how the employees in the Kids Club reacted to her when they discovered her predicament, but it had to be scary to be quarantined all by herself. It hurt my heart to walk in and see no one near her trying to console or reassure her that I’d be there soon to take care of her.

Yesterday’s experience has left me with quite a quandary. Do I resume my workout schedule in the mornings and continue the clinging/crying/screaming routine to leave her in the care of people I don’t think she feels comfortable with (with one exception), or do I start going to the evening classes instead, disrupting our evening routine which includes dinner and family time? I’m afraid that the latter could derail our recent dietary overhall and lead us to eating take-out for dinner again, not to mention never getting to see my husband since he leaves for the gym once Eva goes to bed at night. It would also mean that the 3 of us would only be together on the weekends. I’m not entirely sure which is the right answer. Hopefully the weekend will help us reach a decision.

Yes, the penguin has his face shoved into a stock pot. Eva says he was eating. I think I’d be a lot happier at the doctor’s office if they shoved food at me during my check-ups, too.

Now THIS is a Princess story I can get behind!

ourlittleham — Sat, 22 May 2010 17:03:04 +0000

This morning while I was making myself look decent enough to be seen in public doing my hair and make-up, Eva was watching a Sesame Street re-run in our room. I only overheard what was going on, so I had to look up the clip to be sure I understood it correctly. Here it is in its entirety:

I know it’s 10 minutes long and that 99% of you aren’t invested in watching the whole thing, so here’s a recap: 3 princesses run into a series of problems, and although Prince Charming (in the form of Paul Rudd) shows up to rescue them, he proves to be useless to them and they solve the problems on their own through teamwork and quick thinking. Did I mention that this also involves a penguin AND ends with a game of “princess football?” Triple score!

As I’ve said before, it’s not that I’m totally against princesses. I just don’t like the concept usually attached to them that girls should be helpless and completely dependent on others throughout life. The prima donna connotations also make me cringe. There’s just something about the whole idea that I disdain (as if the name of my blog didn’t spell that out clearly enough).

Needless to say, I was thrilled with this storyline. Thank you Sesame Street for a story about a couple of girls who are capable of solving their own problems and just happen to be dressed as princesses! I want my daughter to grow up knowing that she can be feminine and also completely self-sufficient. I want her to believe in her own power to make her dreams come true. Then again, part of me already believes that once she conquers potty training, she’ll be ready to conquer the world.

Just try to stand in her way. I double dog dare you. (And ok, maybe there are some princesses around here.)

My Baby Shower Embargo

ourlittleham — Wed, 19 May 2010 22:38:04 +0000

Last weekend I had a fabulous time in Philadelphia at the Yoga Unites event. More on that later.

First, I need to talk about something else: Being true to yourself. When I started this blog I wanted it to be a place where I could express my true thoughts and feelings. Little did I know that it would be as difficult to do in this space as it is for me in real life. There are a few people who get to hear out loud what’s actually going on in my head, but they’re few and far between. There might be 3 of you, and that drives me batty. As I’ve said before, I aspire to be Sophia Petrillo from “The Golden Girls.” The idea of saying what I’m really thinking seems so liberating. I’m still working on the courage to do that.

The flip side to that is that I’m sure I’ll end up offending a lot of people. I cringe at the idea of such a thing, but at the same time I also don’t enjoy that icky feeling I get after I’ve spent several hours just shaking my head and nodding and not expressing my true thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about going out of my way to say crazy things, be rude, or to try to offend people. It all comes down to that great Dr. Suess quote, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Those words were what I used as my guide when I made the decision to no longer attend baby showers. I agonized over both the decision not to go as well as the decision to tell people why I’m not going. While I’ve made my peace with the fact that we’re not having any more children and I’m comfortable with that decision, baby showers are still difficult for me. This is especially true if it’s a shower for a 2nd pregnancy. I am truly happy and excited for all of you having children, being it your 1st or your 5th, but it’s a little bit of a punch-to-the-gut reminder that I can’t have that and won’t be celebrated like that again. Petty and selfish? Maybe, but that’s where I am. I may change that policy, but it’s going to take some time.

There’s another dynamic at work here that I also hesitate to talk about. This all came about because the play group that we’re (loosely) a part of is throwing a baby shower for one of the ladies having her 2nd child. We haven’t seen them much for basically the last year because they typically get together at 4:00 PM, which is just a really bad time of day for us. When I do see them it’s usually for one of these soirees. They’ve done this for each of the ladies when they’ve had their second child, and I honestly feel that it is a lovely gesture. I feel more of a connection with some of the ladies than others, which is just part of life, but the person in the case is someone with whom I rarely even speak. We just don’t have anything in common and don’t have anything to talk to each other about. So, start with my issues in the previous paragraph and then add in that the baby shower in question is for someone that I’m not close with, and well, you’d be at this same little junction as I am.

I think that we as women are sent so many messages throughout life about making everyone else happy and feeling obligated to accommodate others that it becomes very difficult to take stock of what we as individuals need and want. I’ve decided that my baby shower embargo is what I need to protect myself, at least for now. Besides, how many men do you hear complaining about social obligations? Que the crickets!

The bottom line is that life is too short to spend your precious time and energy on things (such as social obligations) that contribute nothing but stress and anxiety to your life. It’s not worth that knot in your stomach or the unhappiness that it causes, and it is simply not productive toward leading a balanced life. Sometimes being true to yourself requires digging down deep and finding a little courage, but I highly recommend it. We owe it to ourselves to do so.

Because sometimes it’s scary to say what you really think.

Yoga: It’s Good For The Soul

ourlittleham — Fri, 14 May 2010 18:09:06 +0000

I hadn’t practiced yoga in 6 months, not since our old gym closed. I don’t know what I was thinking. Well, actually, I do. The new gym doesn’t have any yoga classes during the day, unless you count the one at 5:30 on Thursday morning. In my world, that is not an acceptable time to be awake, let alone be up and at ‘em. Therefore, it doesn’t count. They have a class two evenings a week, but they’re right during dinner time and rush hour, so I was thinking that trying to make it to one of those classes would be a huge pain in the neck. And so I didn’t go. I missed it terribly, but I didn’t go.

Another complication is that my old instructor, who I absolutely love, isn’t teaching at this gym. She comes in and takes the occasional class and will be teaching at our new gym when it opens, but isn’t teaching right now. Finding a good yoga instructor is much the same as finding a good doctor, dentist, or hair dresser. It can be a process. Knowing that was another reason for staying away from the classes. A good yoga instructor will lead you through a great yoga practice and you’ll feel amazing at the end. A bad yoga instructor? Let’s just say you’ll be more frustrated than when you started and feel like you’ve just wasted your time. Or at least that’s the way it’s gone for me.

I had the latter experience Tuesday night. It was so bad that if I hadn’t been on the far side of the room, I would have just walked out. Yes, it was THAT bad. She basically had us do an hour of stretching, which I’m sorry, but that’s not what I came for. Also, communication was not her strong point. It was just unfulfilling and I need to be challenged. My great, fabulous, wonderful yoga instructor? She’d kick your butt. That plus the meditation would always leave me feeling so centered and calm. My experience Tuesday night did not leave me with that feeling. Don’t even get me started on the meditation at the end of that class. At least I knew I hadn’t been missing anything during the last 6 months, so there was that.

Last night’s class had a different instructor, so I decided to give it another try and hope for the best. Apparently it was this girl’s first time teaching that class, and she was great. She was a good leader, communicated well, and provided just the right balance between challenge and relaxation. It was just what I needed. The workout, the breathing, the meditation- it was exactly what I had come for. I think it’s safe to say that I’ll be battling the race to make dinner before leaving and rush hour traffic to make it back to that class every week.

The reason I finally pushed myself to get back to yoga this week is that I have the Yoga Unites for Living Beyond Breast Cancer event this Sunday in Philadelphia, and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t too rusty on the poses. I’m excited about the event and think it will be a good time. Yoga is a wonderful thing to practice not just for your physical strength and flexibility, but also because it works wonders for your mental and emotional well-being at the same time. I can imagine that this would be particularly beneficial to anyone who is battling cancer or just going through a difficult time in their life. If you have a few extra bucks, please help me support this cause. Today is the last day to donate! Please and thank you! If you’d like more information about the event, you can find it here: http://yoga4livingbeyondbreastcancer.org/.

Namaste.

I Just Love The Smell Of Murphy’s Oil Soap In The Morning

ourlittleham — Tue, 11 May 2010 15:34:37 +0000

This must be what I get for going out last night, having 2 drinks, and waking up with a hangover. (Yes, that’s right. I’m such a lightweight now that I got a hangover from 2 drinks, even after chasing them with several glasses of water. I’m pathetic.) I heard Eva get up this morning, but it took me a couple of 10 minutes or so to peel myself out of bed. I was slightly concerned when I heard……nothing. Silence and small children is never a good combination unless sleep is also in the mix.

Then I approached the kitchen and found these…..

Small footprints on the carpet.

I followed the trail……

And found this waiting for me……..

It’s certainly not the worst mess she could have made. It’s not like she caused irreparable damage or anything. It’s just that cleaning up a massive coffee creamer spill was not on my original agenda for the morning.

I do appreciate that she did make some effort at cleanup. Once I picked up the dish towel, I discovered that she had dipped it in the dog’s water bowl to try and mop some of it up.

Apparently there was also a failed attempt at concealing evidence…..

After vacuuming for a while, I found this buried in the mound of powdered creamer……

A coffee filter.

Maybe I’m looking at this the wrong way. Maybe she was really just trying to make me coffee because she knew I’d need some this morning. Sure, we’ll go with that.

Recipe For A Perfect Mother’s Day

ourlittleham — Mon, 10 May 2010 03:26:38 +0000

First, start with The Best Husband Ever. The Best Boyfriend/Father of Your Child/Partner, etc. will work here too, but in my case he carries the title of “Husband.” Then add in at least one sweet and amazing child…..

These two (mainly the Husband) started out my day by letting me sleep in. This was especially great for me and painful for The Husband because a certain someone got up at 5:00 this morning, was convinced to go back to bed, and got up for good at 6:00. It was an early morning for him after I kept him up late watching SNL (Betty freaking White! Wooo!). Sleeping in this morning was wonderful.

Next, add breakfast. Food is always key in making me happy and The Best Husband Ever is very astute at recognizing when I need such nourishment and providing it. Breakfast was great.

Throw in some cards……

And flowers……

Now mix in some gifts…..

Her name, birth date, and birth stone.

The Spa!

Final step: Sit back, reflect on how incredibly lucky you are, and enjoy!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, my husband should teach a class. At one point this morning he actually apologized to me for not making the day more spectacular. ”You let me sleep in and got me breakfast, cards, flowers, the necklace, and a gift card TO THE SPA. I also have you and Eva. Is there something more that I’m supposed to want?”, I asked. There was also a trip to the gym and a nap included. BHE (as I may refer to him from now on) knows how to do Mother’s Day right. It was a truly wonderful day. I hope all you other moms out there also had an equally lovely day, you all deserve it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go start planning Best Husband Ever’s Father’s Day. He deserves something amazing.

The beautiful reason that I get to celebrate Mother’s Day. (Just ignore the peanut butter on her face.)

He Can Act Annoyed, But He Loves Her

ourlittleham — Tue, 04 May 2010 23:09:53 +0000

It has become part of her bedtime and naptime routines. Get her changed, brush her teeth, read a story, tuck her in, hunt down The Puma and drag him out of her room. Every afternoon and every evening without fail, he follows us upstairs and joins us for the routine, sitting patiently to the side. Once Eva gets in bed he either tries to hide behind the rocking chair, or if he’s feeling especially bold, tries to jump up onto her bed.

I wouldn’t mind if he stayed in there with her as long as he stayed still and quiet and went directly to sleep. It’s just that he seems to have cat ADD or something, so the likelihood of that happening is slim to none. If he did manage to go to sleep, I’d bet money that he’d be up within an hour and meowing LOUDLY to be let out of the room. Either way, this seriously cuts into Eva’s quality sleep time. That, I have a problem with. Once she’s a little older and she doesn’t need to take naps anymore and she doesn’t require complete silence in order to sleep, I might change my policy. Until then, he’ll just have to keep waiting outside her door until she wakes up.

Aaaaaaaand……I just realized that I haven’t seen or heard from him since I shut the door to her room at naptime. Here’s hoping he didn’t sneak back in……

She Was Just Full Of Surprises Today

ourlittleham — Tue, 04 May 2010 03:10:14 +0000

Every once in a while Eva has one of those days that reminds me that she’s growing up fast. One day she’s having a meltdown of historic proportions on the floor at the gym, and the next day she’s acting like a poised young lady. I know that we still have plenty of switching back and forth between the two stages before she lands on the latter for good, but I so enjoy the occasional glimpse into the person she is growing up to be.

After yesterday’s outburst we had a talk in the car on the way home about the proper ways to act and treat others, both at the gym and elsewhere. We talked about why it’s important for her to listen to her parents and those who are taking care of her. We talked about the importance of taking turns and sharing. Then we talked about it again later at home, this time with her father involved. On our way back to the gym this morning we had a review session. I always wonder how much of what I say during these talks actually gets through to her and how much flies over her head. Apparently I need to adjust my expectations, because today she surprised me by seeming to take it all in. While it took some coaxing to get her through the doors of the Kids Club, she went in without incident. She played nicely with a few of her friends, and when it was time to leave she left the fairy costume behind for someone else to play with. She even said “Thank you” and “Goodbye” to the girls who had been watching her. Win!

Then this evening she did something that shocked me. She who lives on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cheese, and cheerios, ate a vegetable. Not only did she do so willingly, she requested it. As we sat eating the spinach salad that was part of our dinner, she asked to try the “leaves.” She tore into the spinach like I tear into anything involving dark chocolate. Granted, she wouldn’t touch anything else in the salad, but the spinach was a hit. I never would have thought that she’s be so into the stuff, but I love that she is! She loves a food that is actually good for her! Color me surprised- and thrilled!

Forward Progress

ourlittleham — Mon, 03 May 2010 02:24:32 +0000

Well, after nearly a week of medication-induced nausea and brain fog along with ridiculous levels of stress and no workouts whatsoever, life seems to have stabilized. *Knocks on wood* My grandmother is doing well and was released to go home today BY CAR. This is in no small part due to the fantastic care she received at the hospital down here. We’re all nervous about a relapse and she’ll have to come back in a month for another procedure, but right now she’s much better than she was before. The doctor down here has given us all hope, which is a wonderful thing to have.

I made my triumphant return to the gym. It felt great to be back, but I know when I do cardio tomorrow it’s going to be rough. Hopefully that’ll be the only horrendously difficult part….a certain Diva was NOT at all happy about being left in the Kids Club this morning. There was screaming, there was crying, there was a death grip- almost literally as she had me around the neck. It took 3 of the girls to drag her away as I disappeared into the workout studio, knowing that she’d be fine in about 30 seconds. She seems to be doing this more and more on Sundays when her bestest friend at the gym isn’t there. When I returned to pick her up, she was happily playing in a fairy costume and talking on a toy cell phone……until she realized that she had to take off the costume and leave it behind. OH. MY. STARS. Talk about an epic battle. Seriously, it was legendary. Someone had left the door open to the rest of the gym and Eva went running out there, screaming and flailing all the way. When I caught up to her, she threw herself on the ground and began shrieking as if I was trying to pull out her toenails. This might have attracted some attention…..FROM EVERYONE IN THE GYM. I managed to get a hold of her as she was screaming, crying, and flopping around on the floor like a fish out of water. It took what seemed like forever to get her calmed down, back to the Kids Club, out of the costume, and apologizing to the girls in there for screaming at them too. Some days there’s nothing quite so humbling as being the parent of a child in the 2-3 year old range.

I’ve come to find that one of the great things about this age is that there’s rarely ever a day with her that’s ALL bad. She has her sweet moments, too. Today my husband spent the entire day working on the hallway bathroom, and Eva wanted nothing more than to help him in any way that she could. She genuinely loves to help us out, and she’s just in heaven when she gets to help her Daddy with anything. She gleefully fetches him tools and holds things for him. It really is a joy to watch.

Early on in our day, these words came out of my child’s mouth: ”I’m a princess!”, as she twirled around in her outfit. My eyes darted across the room to meet my husband’s, me mouthing the word “NOOOOOO!” in horror. But then she did this, so I guess I shouldn’t freak out just yet:

Ready to help Daddy!

Holding the cement board up while Daddy makes some cuts.

Having the best time ever.

Look out. She knows how to use that.

Testing out the trowel for Daddy. And yes, that’s our old toilet in the bathtub, because we’re classy like that. It’ll be making it’s departure from the house this week, I promise.

Looky! Tile! Woohoo! With a little luck (if my husband is still able to move tomorrow), maybe that part of the reno will be done in the next day or two. Progress!

Deep Breaths

ourlittleham — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 02:46:53 +0000

It’s been a trying week so far. A few hurdles have been jumped, a few more to go. Thank goodness I have my daughter to distract me, entertain me, and keep me strong. Yesterday morning she rediscovered her Halloween outfit from 2008 when she went as a butterfly. Here’s what she ran around the house in this morning……

Yes, that ensamble includes her pajamas, the top to her butterfly costume, rain boots (on the wrong feet, I believe), a tiara, and you can’t see it, but she’s also wearing a Tinkerbell necklace. She has quite the sense of style already!